The Doors Between Us
by Wispy Willow
Summary: From the beginning there have been doors and barriers between them. Now Sam and Andy possibly face the most challenging barriers between them ever. Will the physical door that slid easily open when he rescued her today, somehow help pave the way to remove the emotionally-loaded iron doors still in the way? Follows excerpts of Episode 1 S 4. Chap 1. Andy's POV. Chap 2 Sam's POV.
1. Chapter 1

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ROOKIE BLUE.

Andy and Nick heaved the door down, effectively concealing them in the shipping container. It gave them a temporary reprieve and safety. Everything hinged on them being rescued now.

Her head was about to explode. It was as if she was caught in some Godawful tailspin, hurtling towards earth at warp speed. And, there was no soft landing to count on.

Damn, how the hell did it come to this? Her and Nick scrambling for their lives, hiding out in some shipment container, who the hell knew where! If Sam didn't find them… if he didn't rally the forces to rescue them… things could go dangerously south for them.

"Please, please, please, Sam _find_ us," she kept frantically repeating to herself like some survival code. And while the words were quietly contained in her head, they seemed to be screaming through her ears at the same time.

Here she was shut up behind a metallic door. Would Sam be able to break this one down to get to her? Was it another seemingly impenetrable door between them that would eventually come down? Or was this a barrier that would keep them apart forever?

All of these crazy thoughts were racing through Andy's mind as she literally hammered away at Nick. "Screw productive! Screw undercover. I'm sick of this." She snapped as she flapped her hands dramatically.

It was only about half an hour since she made that call to Sam. Of course she had dialed his number effortlessly. Nick actually had to question who she was calling! _Really?_ _'Head's up break-up buddy,' _she thought._ 'He might be the douche bag who dumped me on my ass, and broke my heart seven months ago, but he's still _the one person_ I trust more than anyone with my life.'_

Sam had answered with a brisk business-like "Yuh". He sounded terse, nervous and anxious. She must have caught him in the middle of something crucial.

But, God, when she had heard his familiar husky voice, she had practically melted and forgot about why she was calling. The fact that she and Nick were in a dangerously dire situation, seemed like a pesky distraction… an unimportant glitch.

"Sam," she said weakly, exuding her state of disbelief.

"McNally," he replied swiftly. Had his voice softened just a little? Was there a hint of relief in his tone?

"Yeah, it's me," she answered weakly.

"Where are you?" He demanded. God she was going to simply melt into his voice. It was too much! She didn't even know what he asked her exactly.

"I'm fine, thank you," she could feel that silly smile contort her face. In a minute she would start crying she knew it.

"No, _where_ are you?" He asked again, this time sounding pressed and worried.

She snapped back to some kind of reality then. Peeking her head out the opening, she looked around and and tried to explain where she was with hurried and scant details. She had very little clue of their physical whereabouts really.

"We could really use some backup here," she gulped suddenly fully aware of what she needed from him. She needed saving. She and Nick together needed saving.

"We gotta go," Nick whispered frantically from behind her. The panic flooded through her body again. God, would this be the last time she spoke to Sam ever?

"We gotta go. I gotta go-" she hastily repeated the words, before dropping the phone, without even saying goodbye.

She had left him hanging, literally hanging. It was pretty much as she had left him six months ago. Yup, admittedly she had left him hanging then too. She had taken off to do this thing, this assignment.

She had done it for herself and left things with him completely up in the air. She could only imagine what he had deduced from her actions.

So many times over these past few months she had tried to summon up the hot flickers of anger and resentment she had felt towards him six months ago. But somehow in the past little while, she simply couldn't. All she knew is that she had really begun to miss him – a lot.

Now trapped inside this dark, claustrophobic container with Nick she reminded herself of the one thing she was more than sure of. While Sam might not succeed, he would turn the region upside down to find them.

She leaned angrily and resignedly against the steel container wall. Having Nick with her was bringing her some calm at least, even though she was still livid as hell at him.

Their friendship and work ethic was solid. She had relied on him these past six months, and not just for the job they were doing. She trusted him, really trusted him, which is what made what happened even more shocking to her.

She had never had a male friend like this before. He had a great sense of humour, and helped her laugh when she wanted to cry.

At times, very few times, she thought she sensed a snippet of something deeper coming from Nick. It didn't alarm her really. It wasn't unusual for attractions and attachments to formulate in these kinds of forced situations. It had even been the subject of a few lectures at the Police Academy actually.

Still who knew, if this was the case. He was an open book, but she couldn't always read him.

And, as much as she liked to deny it, she had continued to be somewhat hearbroken over Sam, so her head was really still fuzzy too.

Nick was easy on the eye, no doubt about it. Yet she didn't feel any actual attraction to him, not even when they kissed, embraced or held hands for appearances. Very unlike the instantaneous jolt she had with Sam right from the get go.

Nope, actually getting it on with Nick was pretty much unthinkable to her. Heck, even if they recklessly indulged in fickle, companionable sex, she knew she probably wouldn't survive the wrath of Gail.

Just the thought of interfering in someone else's relationship gave her an uncomfortable personal twinge. Andy was no stranger to the painful sting of infidelity. Only she had been on the receiving end with the whole Luke and Jo debacle. She couldn't imagine herself being the one to actually dish it out… to a friend no less.

Still, because of his crazy stunt back there, _if_ they survived this, she would personally make sure Gail unleashed all her venom on Nick. He wouldn't stand a chance.

She had been petrified when Nick held the gun to her head. She had genuinely pleaded with him, begged him for her life and yelled at him. That wasn't a charade or for show. That was about as raw and real as it got. She had been reduced to desperate tears as he kept telling her to look at him.

It's true what she had told him; except it hadn't been her whole life, but rather fleeting moments of it that flashed before her eyes.

Her father's bear hug the day she graduated from the Academy; her mother's look of shocked surprise as she recognized her that fateful day last year. Traci's disbelief when she saw the writing on the knife Jerry gave her; Oliver tossing the pickles off his sandwich; Liam shifting a beer towards her at _The Penny_.

Sam's frantic hands as they peeled through her hair after she had been shot two years ago; the smouldering look in his dark brown eyes the night she told him she didn't want to go back. His dimpled smile…

God was that it then? Would she never have the chance to see any of these people who carved so deeply into her life experiences again?

Were her and Sam completely out of second chances? Was there to be no stab at reconciliation, all because she would cease to exist?

Then Nick pulled the trigger and… nothing. The gun wasn't loaded.

Now here they were with their cover cracked wide open through no fault of their own; staring possible death in the eye again. If the worse case scenario came about they wouldn't even get to reap the rewards of their work here.

Damn it no! She surely wasn't going to perish here today, in this hopeless place. If that happened, what was she leaving behind as her legacy?

They would say she had been determined, gutsy and dedicated. She had proven herself in the world of policing. They would give her all the usual accolades. Perhaps there would be references to her having the "heart of a lion". She squeezed her eyes closed at that personal stabing reminder.

But what had _she_ Andy McNally meant to the people in her life? She had been a good, considerate and caring daughter to her father. Who knew what she had been to her Mother?

She had been a steadfast friend, a compassionate individual, a model member of society. She had been in love, twice, the last time… _God this killed_… she had loved someone so deeply, completely and passionately, that she felt her whole being had shifted from its base to somewhere brilliant and frightening.

She had been loved in return. She had been loved by _Sam Swarek_ dammit. Had he ever loved anyone before her? Christ, just six months ago he had _finally_ told her that he really loved her. And then she left him. Bam! She left.

_'God… Sam!' _she thought under her breath! She wanted to let out a sob, but she couldn't.

Damn she was angry at the whole world right now. Not just Nick.

He was aware of her fear and fury of course. He took a few breaths and then came and stood right beside her, breathing out heavily. "I hate going to bed angry," he said hollowly.

"I know," Andy replied in complete cohesion with him. It was kind of a thing they had. They never ended their days at odds. The job they were on caused stresses and tensions. They had made sure not to allow any of it to bleed into their rapport with each other.

That's all she got to utter before the sounds of voices yelling interrupted them. They were followed up by footsteps rushing forward. Crap, this couldn't be good. Imminent danger was barreling towards them.

Nick reached for her hand and squeezed it tight. They were one unit, one team and this was it. They had to go down fighting together. No surrender.

"Ready to fight?" He asked her methodically. Andy nodded and together they moved forward to hold the door down.

The footsteps got closer. Her heart pumped frantically. She could feel it in her throat. They looked at each other. She was glad Nick was with her now.

Someone kicked the door, it shuddered and released. Instinctively they pulled it back down.

"McNally?" an instantly familiar voice called out. His voice softened the tension in the air. It released the taut coil of fear in the pit of her stomach.

Her body crumpled in absolute relief. A sound somewhere between a gasp, sob and exhalation escaped her. It was_ his_ voice. It was _Sam's _voice. It was bringing her out of this surreal, nervous frenzy and giving her a soft and comforting place to land… again.

"Are you in there? Open the door." He called out again. So Sam _had _found her. How could she have doubted that he would? God the relief, the joy, the sense of warm familiarity this brought her.

For a fleeting second with the words he chose, she imagined that he was once again asking her to open the door on their relationship.

There had always been doors with them. Geez even their first meeting resulted from her busting open a door at that dive building downtown? He hadn't needed to break this one down. He only needed to ask her to open it.

With Nick's help, she released the door and thrust it open. He was standing there right before her. His brown, glinting eyes instantly captured hers.

There was intensity in his face, an expression that screamed with willful emotion. _"I'm there when it matters,"_ he had said to her once before. It echoed in her mind now as she lost herself in his eyes.

He had abysmally failed to live up to that proclamation seven months ago when he broke her heart. But, he had been there for her so many times in the past when it really, really mattered. It was a pattern that had evolved between them, and boy did it ever matter now.

He looked incredible. He was toned, lean and, seemingly so silently in tune with her. God, could his eyes penetrate any more deeply into her? She felt like he was peeling through her layers, exposing her real self to him again. She weakened at the knees, certain she would collapse.

Slowly his lips tweaked into a flickering of a smile. She stared at him, still in complete disbelief. Then her face crinkled into a smile of complete joy and relief. The tears glowered in her eyes; a hard sob stuck in her throat.

He saw her smile and let out a gasp of some kind, flashing his teeth with a fleeting smile directed at her and her alone. He looked like a boy unable to contain his excitement. She could swear he wanted to scoop her up and take her away with him. She wanted it to.

He looked away suddenly and into Nick's eyes. Then he looked back at her this time with more constraint, but all the obvious signs of relief and happiness still there.

"Hi," she said softly, not sure what else to say.

"Hi," he replied his voice firm, yet soft as butter.

"How was your trip?" He asked with tenderness. Her body ached for this tenderness she knew existed in him. Christ had she really for one instant thought she was over him?

Had she really told Nick today he was completely in the past? That statement had to be one epic fail!

Dammit she could have slept with Nick for a month of Sundays and she knew she would still be crumbling and losing herself to the magnetic pull of Sam all over again. Some things just never dissipated, no matter what life or time threw at you.

"Good," she managed to hold her voice together, fully aware that her eyes were filling with tears.

"Good." He repeated in a whisper under his voice, his eyes hypnotically drawing her in again.

"How are you?" the genuine concern in his question, unravelled her still further.

"Great," she said softly, the slightest hint of a crack in her voice. He could surely tell she was so close to crying.

Of course she was great. He had found her. Christ he had rescued her again. He was her hero. How could she be anything but great?

"It's good to see you," her voice came as a feeble whisper.

"Glad to have you back," he smiled at her. There was a calm and genuine ebb to his tone. It made her tingle to her bones.

"Me too," she replied.

_"Glad to have you back," _she kept repeating in her mind, like some new mantra. With her jellied legs she somehow managed to start walking past him.

**_The next hour_** was all becoming a fog and a blur. She knew she needed to stay sharp and astute for her debriefing. People were buzzing around them, there were numerous officers hovering. It was all kind of outlandish to her.

She kept craning her neck to get glimpses of Sam. She just needed to keep him in her line of sight. It kept her focused, sure of herself, and also a little dizzy with excitement too.

He must have felt her eyes trailing him, as every so often he would look up and meet her eyes. He would smile at her. That furtive _'I'm right here,'_ kind of smile, she had always thrived on. She was on an all-time high right now. Christ how she had missed him.

She could barely stop watching him. She felt _so_ drawn to him. He surely felt the magical pull too. It was still there, she couldn't deny it.

Six months ago he had implored her and pleaded with her. He had promised her all kinds of wonderful things, mostly a sense of security that had always been missing between them as a couple. She wanted to revisit those ideas and that conversation with him, _tonight_ if possible.

He approached her and Nick now, phone to ear. Her eyes simply couldn't tear away from him.

He was all business as he calmly told them they needed to return to the station to debrief.

Damn she would have agreed to jump up and down bare feet on a bed of nails right now if that is what he suggested. She knew she was wearing her emotions on her sleeve, but she didn't care.

"Mmhmm," she replied, with a silly half smile and a mystical _'I'm so happy you're here,' _expression on her face.

She would have kept looking at him too, if Jacob hadn't intercepted. By the looks of things, it seemed like _he_ owed Sam a lot tonight too. She watched him shake Sam's hand, that silly smile refusing to leave her face.

He smiled at her again. Dammit those lips, those eyes? Perhaps he would give her a ride back to 15 and they would get some alone time-

"I'll get you a ride back to the station." A voice cut in. A woman's voice. She hadn't really known anyone else was there with them. She had even blotted Nick out.

She gave Sam one last wistful look, before walking away with Nick and the officer. No worries she would see Sam at the station again.

**_Being reunited_** with the gang was incredible. It was crazy what a tight knit family they were. She hugged everyone with pure relief to be back in the loop. Seeing Traci again was especially bittersweet.

She had left her best friend at such a tumultuous time of her life. She looked balanced and solid, but was she really? With Traci things always ran deep, and she was sure her pain was still real and palpable.

It seemed like she was sharing her office space with one Detective Sam Swarek these days too. Hmm!

Traci naturally read her like a book. A not so subtle smile on her face, she watched Andy's flustered mannerisms, as she nervously looked around. "Andy," she said with that maternal tone.

Andy just loved the way Traci got her sometimes. Not always, but now it was perfectly intuitive and appreciated. "I think he's in the kitchen." She concluded with a smart smirk.

Andy nodded knowingly, smiled and turned to hightail it to the kitchen. Every step was bringing her closer to him at last. He still had a lot to prove, but her answer would be yes.

Christ she hadn't stopped needing him. Maybe she would be the one asking, who knew. As long as the answer was yes who cared really.

…

_**WAM BAM.**_ She felt like she had walked straight _into_ a door, cracking her heart in the process.

Her anticipation disintegrated. Her joyful musings brutally slapped from her mind. Crap, Sam actually wrapped his arm around _that _woman, before he leaned in for a quick kiss. Dammit, had he actually told her that she, Andy McNally was in his past? Had he really told her, whoever the hell she was, that they were over?

For once she understood what the expression heart-stopping meant. She watched paralysed, shattered, speechless, heartbroken, crestfallen and deflated.

So it had all been in her head? He wasn't sharing stolen glances with her before. He wasn't giving her hope and promise with his smile and eyes. Damn him. He had moved on. So soon, just like that. _He had moved on_.

She leaned against the door frame, needing its support. He must have sensed her presence. He looked up, saw her and froze. His expression was firm and resolute, but his eyes gave away certain humility and uncertainty. He looked uncomfortable, guilty even.

She shook her head as she glared at him hopelessly. She wanted to say something but her mouth was dry and her tongue too heavy to move.

Before she could implore him with her eyes any further, her escape came, in the form of Jacob hollering to her. She fell right in step behind him. She had all the time in the world. She had nowhere else to be and no one else to share her time with.

Forget her fury at Nick. Right now she wanted to impale Sam. Nick holding a gun to her head was nothing compared to what it felt like having Sam pierce a stake through her heart.

"_Damn you Sam Swarek_," she growled under her breath.


	2. Chapter 2

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ROOKIE BLUE

It was sticky and hot. Summer in Toronto could be blistering. Just another half mile or so and he would be at the Barn.

Sam picked up his pace. He had a place to be. He had a purpose in his new role as detective. It was all clean, simple, sterile and on track. It was all moving forward and that was what he needed.

He had no worries. He had an iced green tea, low on the sugar, waiting for him thanks to Oliver.

It had been an uphill battle, but he had somehow managed to yank himself to some kind of normalcy and happiness again. He had been in really rough shape seven months ago. It had been brutal actually.

Jerry's violent death took its toll, and he all but destroyed Andy in his descent to rock bottom. He had pushed her away callously.

And then a month later, he was punched straight back into reality when Andy held an explosive in her hands!

He remembered closing his hands over her sweaty, shaking ones when she held that grenade. All he knew at that moment was that without her, there was no life for him.

He had been pushed into a corner, forced to confront the true depth of his emotions and tell Andy that he really, truly loved her… God it had been so hard for him to say those three profound words.

Later he had gone one step further by expressing his remorse and his desire to make it work with her at any cost. He was up to anything, because he desperately needed her to bring back colour and joy to his newly empty, dreary and lonely existance.

But that was six months ago and so much had changed.

Namely she had left. He had gone to her hat in hand, and all but begged for her to give him another chance to prove himself and his love, and she had left. She had walked away without a sign or a word or some kind of message to him.

To add salt to the wound, he had had to find out the next day from Callaghan of all people.

Admittedly Luke had been straight up and told it like it was. He didn't seem smug or to glean any real pleasure from imparting the news. But Sam still wanted to punch the guy in the face.

He caught up with Peck later that day, and she looked kind of pistol whipped too. She tried to hide it behind her ice cold veneer and fifty shades of sarcasm of course, but he could tell she was completely shaken.

As for him, if he thought his life was cold and bereft before Andy left, it became a dark, depressing and torturous storm for a month after.

He was left to pick up the tattered pieces of his life somehow. Dammit if she had only given him a sign. If she had given him any hope that she wasn't firmly slamming the door on them forever, he would have had something to work with.

But nada, zilch, rien, nothing was not a lot to go on. Nothing meant something. He knew it. It meant she had considered this assignment and this opportunity more important than him. It meant that her plans and her job took priority over salvaging their battered relationship.

It meant it was over and she wanted no more of him or them. That is what it meant.

He had no choice but to slowly, slowly begin rebuilding and patching up his torn self. He became a detective. He had attained the rank years before, but had really preferred to either be transferred to Guns and Gangs or stay on patrol.

With Jerry gone, Nash still a rookie detective and Callaghan off to bigger, better challenges, they really needed to fill the gaping void.

He padded up his detective rank with some night classes and slipped into the spot with ease. He was actually finding it more tacticle, hands on and exhilarating than he expected. It was giving him some verve and drive again.

Working with Nash was kind of interesting too.

He would never actually verbalise it, but he did feel an unspoken commitment to Jerry to look out for her. She was smart, perceptive and eager to learn. Not too unlike McNally that way.

It sucked that her very presence made him think of McNally, but it was also pretty cool that her very presence made him think of McNally. Heck, she probably thought the same things about him and Jerry.

He and Peck only ever spoke about work, neither of them willing to admit the full velocity of their sense of abandonment.

At times he could see in her nervous glances that Peck had an unfounded fear that perhaps things had taken a turn with Andy and Nick.

After all, working together like that could be intense and raw. When you had to live and breathe each other every day like that, one thing could lead to another.

It stabbed at his heart too, but what could he do about it really? He was pretty certain that was not the reality. He knew McNally. She would never knowingly hurt Peck like that.

She might have no allegiance to _him _anymore, but she and Collins still owed Peck something.

He buried himself in work, nose to grindstone for four months. Working hard, working out, partying little and keeping level headed. He didn't have time for people outside of work, except for the occasional beer with Shaw and Best.

But still he was lonely and craving some kind of physical and intellectual contact. He had to face it, McNally was gone, and he was just plain out of hopes and dreams.

Marlo sort of came along right then. She started at 15 two months ago. There were no fireworks or anything. It was pretty much the usual platonic jesting and joking between colleagues. But then last month they kind of fell into a pattern. A comfortable pattern.

He had to move on after all. He had no reason to wait. He had nothing to hold out for. So why was he holding out?

He had no choice but to go forward. He might as well jump! He liked Marlo and enjoyed her company. It was smooth and uncomplicated. No pressures or fear of failure. It was straighforward and simple, just what he needed.

She was attractive and she made him laugh. She wasn't demanding or emotional. He wasn't plagued with qualms about her out in the field.

On the surface it worked, but Sam didn't allow himself to dig deeper into the crevices of his heart. He didn't scatch below to the parts of himself he knew still longed for Andy. He had to let go and this was part of the process of letting go.

He couldn't deny however that while kissing Marlo might be pleasant, it hadn't made him stop craving Andy's hungry lips and overwhelming passion.

The physical between them was good, but he would be kidding himself, if he said it came close to the explosive sparks that always flew with Andy. Their chemistry had always been intense and fiery.

Their hunger for each had never been anything short of insatiable. But passion like that only came by once in a lifetime, if you were lucky. He had been that lucky, but it was over now. He just had to accept it and move on.

It had always been so easy, scintillating and magical to make love to Andy. Yet he had failed to make so many other relevant connections with her. Perhaps that was the root of all their problems.

Perhaps if he had, it would have helped him keep their relationship from screeching to a grinding holt! But Goddamit, he had offered to do just that before she scrambled out of town on that fricking task force.

That door was closed. It was in the past. The present was now and the present was Marlo. These were not issues that existed with Marlo and he doubted they ever would.

His heart was not invested. Sure he cared about her. He had had feelings for every woman he had been involved with to some degree, except of course for those few one night stands in his salad days.

Right now for Sam it was all about making adaptations if he wanted to avoid being alone his whole life.

He owed himself and Marlo a fair chance.

He smiled now as he handed Marlo the twenty bucks he owed her. She had predicted Frank's call spot on. With Andy he would have won a bet hand's down. Only because she always got so flustered and over thought everything. It was really adorable when she got like that…

He sighed as he made his way to his office. He was more than ready to pour himself into the mountain of cases he and Traci were submerged in. It kept his mind from wandering and his focus where it needed to be.

But there was a strange energy and vibe to the day. He knew something was up.

He kept his cool reasonably well when he made the immediate connection between Blackstone, McNally and Collins. He knew where she was of course. Being wily, resourceful and stubborn as all hell had its perks.

He couldn't do anything with the information, but at least he knew _where_ she was, and that brought him some kind of calm.

He kept the tightest of expressions and stances as he said "McNally and Collins", but an uneasy stab hit the pit of his stomach. He felt his heart beat pick up and the vein in his neck begin to throb.

He wasn't going to like what Blackstone had to say he knew it.

"What!" He exlclaimed in disbelief a moment later.

"You put two UCs in the middle of a turf war!" Was Blackstone out of his mind? What the hell was he doing throwing Andy and Nick into a sham like that? Christ if so much as a hair on her head was touched, he'd….

"Your officers are fine," Blackstone waved them off. He rambled on about them getting out of his way and left. Frank reluctantly acquiesed.

The thing with Sam though, is that rules and orders didn't always gel so well with him. Definitely not now. Definitely not where McNally was involved.

It didn't take much to muster the troops. Heck even Marlo signed up, no questions asked. Well almost no questions asked. Good thing Nash took the lead on that answer, as he wasn't sure he could quite explain this one without her cottoning on to something.

An hour later they were back in Blackstone's face. When he sheepishly revealed that he had _lost_ contact and sight of both Andy and Collins, Sam couldn't contain himself or his emotions anymore. No bloody way he was about to stand back when she was out there somewhere in a hazardous situation.

This time there was no stepping aside.

There was adrenalin, fear, determination anger and an overwhelming urge to find his McNally. _His_ McNally. God dammit she was still under his skin, in his heart and saturated in his mind.

He managed to stay focused and in the moment, but he couldn't allow himself to panic. Not now. It came to this; he would always worry about her; he would always think of her… he would always love her… shit!

When his phone rang and he heard her voice, some kind of relief gushed through his body. She was alive.

"McNally!" He said, the relief seeping into his voice.

"Where are you?" He needed to know where she was. He needed to keep her safe. His mind was racing.

"I'm fine, thank you," there was a slight muffle in her voice. Did she let out a sob? Why the heck wasn't she answering his question? Was she okay?

"No, _where_ are you?" He pressed her. Christ didn't she know the danger she was in? He had to find her. He could barely process the thought that she had called him first. She had other obvious choices, Blackstone, Best, Callaghan, but she came to him… first.

_'I'm there when it matters.' _He had told her two years ago, and dammit did it matter now.

She was calming down, getting real, giving him the vital information he could use. He heard noises, scuffles, Nick's voice calling out to her.

"We gotta go. I gotta go-" She exclaimed and she was gone… again. He could still hear muffled noises and voices.

He felt fear ballooning up in his gut. "McNally," he called into the phone. Then again "McNally." She was gone.

As he drove to find her, his mind was a shambles, racing with thoughts and memories of her.

He kept thinking of her giddy laughter. God he had never grown tired of that silver lilting sound. Her smile. She was so unbelievably beautiful when she smiled. He remembered the first time she flashed him a full smile. It was at Emily's disheveled apartment over three years ago.

Her silly, awkward unease when she waffled nervously away about whatever was on her mind.

Her earnest wide eyes when she came to him that night at _The Alpine_ and implied she had nothing better to do for the next few hours. There had been incredible magic and heat between them that night. He could still recall the way her body felt as he explored it completely for the very first time.

The silkiness of her skin, the tickling of her hair on his chest, the softness and ardour in her…. it was always there, every single time they were together. He hadn't forgotten any of it. It was all there, just below the surface.

As he stormed into the shipping warehouse with the swat team, he had one thing on his mind. '_Find McNally_'.

Five minutes in and he found the storage container. He kicked at the door and it released. It slammed back down immediately. Someone was in there. _She_ was in there. She had to be. He called out to her somehow containing his fear and anticipation.

"McNally."

"Are you in there? Open the door." He steeled himself. There had been so many doors between them in their journey together. It all began with a door. The door she bust open that very first day they met.

In true McNally style she came crashing into his life that day.

This time it only took a moment before the door slid open. She was crashing into his life and heart again. He knew it.

She came into full view, standing right before him. She looked so young, so dishevelled, so pale, so shaken and so beautiful.

She was breathing quite hard, obviously with the fear coursing through her body.

He locked eyes with hers. He just needed to look at her. He just needed to drink her in and know that she was alright. How was it possible he he had thrust this dazzling creature from him? Had he really let her go all those months ago?

She was here, safe and well. She was vital and alive. It made him feel incredible and invicible knowing he had found her. The first twinges of a smile tugged at his face.

Her face caved into a smile, and he knew to his core, without a single doubt that she had wanted him to be the one to find her.

His face crumbled into a complete smile then. He felt like a six-year-old boy in a candy store, but he didn't care. He was elated and relieved that she was alive and standing there before him.

He became aware of Nick's presence then, standing guardedly to the side and behind Andy. He looked like he wanted to protect her. He had to love the guy for that.

His eyes crept back to Andy's.

"Hi," she managed in some kind of diminutive voice. Sam knew this was deep. They had been through too much for him to underestimate this.

"Hi," he replied tenderly. He wanted her to hear the tenderness in his voice. He wanted to reach out and run his fingers over her cheek. He wanted to hold her face to his chest, so she could hear his thundering heart. He wanted to scoop her up and take her away from here, away from all of this.

"How was your trip?" He asked softly. The words came to him easily. They were loaded with innuendo.

"Good," she replied weakly. He could see the tears welling up in her eyes. She still cared Goddamit. She could deny it all she wanted. She still cared for him.

"Good," he repeated softly and calmly under his voice, maintaining eye contact. He knew she was garnering strength and calm from him right now. For all their angst, he knew that she had often relied on him to bring her calm.

"How are you," he asked searching her face.

"Great," she replied, a slight crack to her voice. She looked ready to collapse, but he knew her. She was strong and lion hearted. She wouldn't collapse now. Later maybe, but not now.

"It's good to see you," she whispered, looking deeply into his eyes. For a fleeting second his heart surged with the same feeling he had when she told him she loved him.

"Glad to have you back," he smiled at her. If only she knew how much he meant that.

"Me too," she smiled as she walked shakily past him.

**_He was feeling young and heroic_**. He was at the center of a storm that had unfurled and abated at his hands.

He could feel her eyes on him. She kept watching him. He knew intrinsically that she needed his reassurance and his physical presence. It made him feel vindicated.

He gave her confident assured smiles and looks. There was so much going on though. So much buzz and commotion and he had to be on top of it. He couldn't give her his one hundred percent attention, much as he wanted to.

He couldn't allow himself to delve into what it all meant. He wasn't even angry at her for leaving anymore. Instead he just felt like a part of himself had centered itself again.

That look in her eyes; the sweet smile and the soft expressions. He knew it meant something, but he couldn't go there right now.

He approached her now; she was looking at him with such happiness it stunned him.

"Okay," he refocused as he told her and Collins they'd go back to the station to debrief.

"Mmhmm," she smiled and looked at him again as though he was the only person in her world right now.

Blackstone arrived. Cruz was with him. Shit Marlo. Of course she knew about him and McNally. He had given her scant details. She didn't know the half of it, but she knew enough to know it was serious.

He couldn't think straight right now; Andy was smiling at him _again. _He wasn't so stupid that he didn't know that was the look of a woman who still wanted him. Christ!

He had seen that expression on her face numerous times over the past year. It was there when he had asked her to stay with him at the undercover apartment two years ago; when he asked her if she wanted to try being normal with him; when she took his truck keys for the first time; when she told him she loved him.

Marlo interrupted them. She looked slightly uneasy. She turned to look at him as she walked behind Andy. He smiled at her. It was a more restrained and uncertain smile than those he had given Andy earlier, but he owed Marlo something.

She was the present and Andy was the past. Right now it was all about making adaptations. He owed himself and Marlo a fair chance. He couldn't shut Marlo down now, just because Andy was back. She deserved better than that.

Andy was still experiencing the sweet blush and relief of being found unharmed. It was a perfectly normal reaction for her to appear so smitten by the one who had saved her.

He couldn't allow himself to read more into it than that. His heart was healing but still scarred. He couldn't expose it to more wounds.

His mind buzzed with these thoughts as he drove to the precinct. She was just back. She didn't know where her head and heart were.

Besides, while those magical moments with Andy back there seemed to be infused with meaning and unspoken hope, he was just too jaded and disillusioned to believe there was _really_ still a chance with her.

For better or worse Andy had made her decision six months ago. They both had to live, deal and adapt with the consequences now.

**_He meandered_** to the kitchen. He was seriously cutting back on the caffeine intake, but right now he needed a strong cup of Joe like never before.

He kept his head down, almost in fear that he might get a glance of Andy again. He couldn't waver into that silly fantasy-like place they had drifted into momentarily earlier today.

He needed to clear his head. She probably needed the same. She needed to come back to reality again, after her six month stint and the harrying ordeal of today. She would be immersed in debriefing for the next two weeks, at least, before she returned to full duty.

A few officers were at the coffee machine. Marlo was among them. They congratulated him on the take down today. He accepted the praise and accolades. Why the hell not? At the end of the day McNally was back safe and sound and that made his heart happy.

Marlo didn't leave with her colleagues. She hovered a while. It was just the two of them. That's pretty much how this thing between them had gotten off the ground to begin with. She had quietly pursued him this way.

She always made excuses to linger around him. She crept into his office when Nash wasn't there to tell him something of very little importance. She had been persistent, and it had paid off for her.

She seemed a little nervous and unsure of herself right now. He wasn't used to seeing her like that. She was normally completely unflappable. In general very little got to her. Even now there was only the slightest hint of unease in her gestures.

She had a few years on McNally. She was just two years younger than him actually. Life and experince had brought her a certain detachment, and she had a reserved confidence, maturity and sophistication about her.

Admittedly she would have had to be blind not to see the looks between him and Andy earlier.

He knew McNally would come up at some point. It might as well be now.

Andy is the past, Marlo is right now, he reminded himself as he curled his fingers around the cup.

"So McNally's back," she said, her eyes curiously pinning him down. She was standing right before him, closer than necessary. She was making a statement of some kind, right here in their place of work.

"So what does that mean?"

He looked at her. It was straightforward, sterile and highly manageable with Marlo. It was simple and uncomplicated just the way he liked it. He had gone for more and crushed himself and the one person he cherished the most in the process.

No this would do. Marlo was the present.

He looked at her and kept a smile purposely glued on his face. He needed to convince her of the words he was going to tell her. He needed to convince himself in the process.

"Nothing," he shook his head a little too readily. "It's in the past."

He had no choice but to move forward.

She giggled. She looked happy. He needed to do something, something he wouldn't normally do to solidify his statement. He needed to keep pressing this point home till it was crystallised in his mind.

He plopped his cup down and reached for Marlo, pulling her closer till her lips were within reach. He planted a kiss on her lips. He made it last. It couldn't just be a peck. She needed to know he meant what he said. _He_ needed to know he meant what he said.

He hoped kissing Marlo would also erase his mind of the burning desire he had to kiss Andy when he saw her for the first time today. It didn't.

He pulled back after a moment. Marlo smiled at him somewhat startled. She also wasn't used to crossing the line in the work environment.

He smiled back at her, but he felt a little hollow and empty. Unknowingly he distanced himself from her a little. She looked satisfied by his remark and his action; even though he was sure a new guardedness had slipped onto his face.

With Andy back, he knew he couldn't continue this comfortable new arrangement with Marlo using tunnel vision anymore.

He felt Andy's eyes on him before he saw her. He looked up and caught the pain and bewildement in her eyes as she looked at him.

She was leaning against the door frame and looked so sad. It was that same wounded doe look she had when he asked for his keys back last year. He had let her down again. Goddamit.

He watched her silently. What could he do? He knew there were no words he could say. He had just stamped on her heart again.

He was troubled. Complication had just come storming back into his life. He would do anything to take that moment back. Reassuring Marlo had come at the highest of stakes… hurting Andy again.

He watched her walk away. He knew she would have to find out soon enough, but he didn't want her to find out like this. Not like this.

It seemed like a door had come crashing into him. It slammed closed in his face.

Although he kept telling himself it was better like this, his heart knew differently. Not only did he want that door burst open, he wanted it gone.

Goddamit.


	3. Chapter 3

Picks up to just prior to Season 4 Episode 2 and weaves a bit through events of this episode, _taking small snippets of the story and building on them_.

We Sandy fans are in a bit of a tough place right now, but if you still thrill to Sam and Andy and pine for their togetherness, here are some silly musings, ideas and doodles as I attempt to tamper with a continuation to this story. It once again flits between alternating perspectives.

_ANDY_

"Sam!" Andy sighed sleepily. Her eyes were still closed tight as she emitted a playful giggle. She loved the way it felt when he dribbled his fingertips over her cheek with a feathery soft touch.

Andy leaned closer into his compelling seductive caresses, a soft sigh escaping her. There was something so damn intriguing and magical in the way he touched her. It was dark and shadowy in the room. She knew this even though she hadn't opened her eyes.

In these pre-dawn hours it felt so warm and comfortable here with Sam's warm body pressed against her.

She still had a good few hours of sleep before she needed to wake up for her first shift back. Her first shift back… something in her mind felt off about that. Yet, Sam seemed so intent on waking her up now!

She could feel his fingers dipping down under her chin, grazing her skin gently. It was sensual and beguiling and she wanted more. There was no point in denying that she loved it when he woke her up like this.

The heat, anticipation and urgency of his touch seeped right into her skin and every single one of her senses sprang to vivid wakefulness. Moments later she knew she would hear his raspy voice whispering her name, as his lips tenderly nuzzled her ear and neck, drawing her completely out of her dreamy state.

Before his lips reached her mouth, she knew she would be clinging to him, bursting with desire and anticipation. He would gently cover her with his firm, strong body; and she would mold herself smoothly into him, her own body filled with a crazy need she could scarcely comprehend.

Being like that with him had always made her feel more alive and energized than anything else she knew of.

When they were together she trusted him implicitly. She had never trusted anyone with her body as much as she did Sam. With him, she willfully gave herself up to insatiable new experiences with a new level of confidence she had never known before.

It was only when it came to other aspects of their relationship. Things like serious talking, communication and total commitment on all scales, that the barriers and rifts still existed. Sam still closed himself to her. It bothered her, but all they needed was time… time to navigate all the ledges and valleys. Or so she thought.

She let out a soft sigh, as she reached for him now, but instead of touching his warm muscled body, there was a chillingly empty nothingness.

"Sam," Andy gasped quickly and uncertainly as her eyes shot open and she bolted upwards in her bed. Now wide awake she exhaled in frustration, while clinging feverishly to the bedsheets.

"Arrgh." She groaned in exasperation. She looked down at the emptiness next her. Sam wasn't there with her. Of course he wasn't. They had been done and over for eight months now.

Yet the dream was so vivid and intense that she could practically feel the warmth of his body and the sensations of his fingertips on her skin, moments before she was jolted frantically awake.

The dream had been so real because it had actually been woven with sweet actualities from her a past - a past when Sam really did wake her up exactly like that.

Only those experiences used to titillate her; and now… now the fragmented memories of those past times only tormented her.

"Shit," Andy uttered in tired frustration dropping back down to her pillow.

She couldn't deny she had begun to miss Sam a lot while undercover, but _this _particular kind of nighttime dreaming and yearning was a whole new beast she had to contend with.

Seeing him again last week and looking straight into his mesmerizing eyes for the first time after six months away, had triggered something still alive within her. Christ that day he rescued her and Nick, had stirred up all those deep emotions and feelings all over again.

Andy brought her hands up to massage her temples, banishing the idea of getting more sleep now. Instead her mind was racked and riddled with a jumble of thoughts.

'_I hate Sam… I love Sam… I love him so much. I can't be around him… I can't stand to be without him. He broke my heart… he made my heart feel the kind of love I didn't know existed. He trampled on me… he picked me up when I was broken. He hurt me… he still has the power to hurt me. He doesn't love me anymore… he'll always love me. I want him out of my life for good… I want him back in my life for ever. I wish I had never met him… I can't imagine never having met him. It's so over with him… It'll never be over with him. I don't want him anymore… I'll never stop wanting him._'

Dammit, her head and heart was in such turmoil, it was no wonder her sleep was sabotaged! Surely this sense of misplaced reality was normal as she worked through the range of emotions? It would likely go on until she came to the final acceptance that she and Sam were really over for good.

For the five days of their debriefing in Mississauga, Nick and Andy hadn't returned to 15 and had very little contact with anyone there. Andy had chatted to Traci a few times, but she hadn't yet pressed her for details on Sam.

It hurt and saddened her that Sam had not tried calling her. She hadn't had the courage to try and reach him either, simply because she couldn't stomach hearing that he must have moved on, with a cop at 15 no less. What other possible explanation could there be for what she saw last week?

God bless Nick. He still tried to help her with all of this, although he didn't know the half of it.

Nick was still in an insecure place with Gail. Andy knew it. He looked kind of gutted and unsure of what was going on with her and them. "It's complicated," he admitted the other night shaking his head.

They were sharing a pint at the local pub near the Mississauga police headquarters, where their days of debriefing were taking place.

Well if anyone understood complicated when it came to interpersonal stuff, it sure as hell had to be her, Andy McNally!

"She told me she was going to France," Nick continued with complete frustration.

"It's possible she _wanted_ you to wait for her no matter what." Andy replied taking a sip, looking furtively at him for a moment.

He looked straight into her eyes before taking a swig of his beer. He could read between the lines easily enough. He knew she was referring surreptitiously to her own situation with Sam.

"Really?" He asked wryly as though it was some new revelation to him.

"She didn't expect everything to get… you know… whipped out from beneath her feet," Andy continued with a focussed expression. She really wanted to make this simply about Gail and Nick and not her andSam… but somehow the two just intertwined in her mind.

"I think she feels let down, left behind… forgotten." Andy's voice trailed off as she looked at him with a quiet pain filling her eyes.

He offered a sympathetic smile. "It's in the past Andy," he said trying to sound authoritative. Andy winced at Nick's unfortunate choice of words.

He had no way of knowing that was pretty much exactly what Sam said to  
_what's-her-face_, at the precinct that night, before he damn went and kissed her. Christ, how she wanted to eradicate that image from her mind.

"Yeah," she sighed and whispered at the same time, looking at her white knuckles as her hands clasped the beer.

Last night she had also gotten to chatting to some cute Ontario Provinicial Police dude. Nick was none to keen to leave her there with him, but he knew it wasn't the time to be overly protective, or whatever the hell it was that made him hover around her so much.

Anyway _what was his name_ from the OPP had had dark brown eyes that reminded her_ so_ much of Sam's. She had kind of lost her self control just looking into them.

She had admittedly flirted with him a little. She toyed with the idea of bringing him home with her for a night of forgetfulness. She could sure have used him to help her blot Sam out of her mind and consciousness dammit.

He… Daniel… _that_ was his name, had been plenty interested too, but she had hesitated. One night stints weren't her thing. At least not yet!

"Arrgh," she sighed, pushing the sheets aside and stepping out of bed. She would make some chamomile tea. Maybe that would help her fall asleep again.

Andy had to be in prime form for tomorrow. She had an early morning run with Traci before her shift began. She sure as hell was going to use it to test her about Sam's new cohort.

Geez Traci could have at least given her a head's up before sending her off to find him in the kitchen that day. Seeing Sam with that woman, well that was possibly one of her most humiliating, difficult and painful moments ever.

A stinging punch hit her heart. Was it possible Sam was with _her_ right now?

_SAM_

Sam had gotten through another night without Andy. He had lost count of how many that was now. He was still thinking of them as nights "without her", even after Marlo had entered his life.

Entered was a good way to put it. Yes, she had entered it in an ordinary and undemonstrative fashion and that was how it remained. It was so unlike Andy, who had bolted into his life so unexpectedly and boisterously.

Andy had just burst in and filled it up with her wild vivacious energy that he had discovered too late he just couldn't get enough of. It was all so unlike this new quiet and unobtrusive lingering of Marlo.

Deep down he knew Marlo was a bit of a placebo. She was bringing a quiet stability to his life, but God how he missed the wild rush and passion of Andy… still.

But he was staying focussed in the here and now. 'Marlo is the present' he kept reminding himself. He didn't spend all of his spare time with her, neither did he desire to and that was just fine and dandy.

Actually it was a relief not to feel that overwhelming sensation to be with her all the time. He _had_ had that sensation with Andy, even though he didn't act on it. With Marlo things were pressure-free, untangled and comfortable.

But, there was still _this_… this waking up at night thinking about Andy. He worried about her, wondered where she was, if she was safe… if she was alone. His body was always wide awake and tense with wanting her. Not too unlike last night, only last night he had tossed about for longer than normal, unable to really get back to sleep.

There might be someone new in his life, but last night, his bed, like his heart, was empty.

He had thought he was over Andy. He acknowledged now to himself he wasn't. Time was all he needed. Time would take care of everything… and Marlo would help too.

He knew he was restless and anxious because McNally would be back on shift today. He would actually get to see her again! They may be done on a personal level, but a new era of working together was about to commence. God help him!

He was filled with a mix of nervous excitement and tempered dread at the thought of this. He wanted to see her, desperately so. He wanted his days to involve her again, even if on a reduced and less satisfactory scale. Yet, so much had changed.

Primarily there was Marlo. She represented a new and safe door between himself and Andy. He reminded himself again about all the doors Andy had slammed on him relentlessly six months ago.

Marlo was on the other side of those doors. He wouldn't make her a victim of his failed love affair with Andy. Besides, from now on he would be particularly guarded with his heart. He couldn't open it up to that kind of breakage again. Christ, he didn't know it could hurt so much to have a broken heart.

Sam frowned to himself as he pulled into the parking lot this morning. Normally the sight of Oliver perked him up, but he could see on Oliver's face that he was going to get serious and quickly.

"So uh McNally's back today," Oliver got right to the point.

"Yes, she is," Sam replied tersely his voice becoming suddenly heavier. Even though Shaw couldn't see them, his eyes carried a stern, no-nonsense look, as if to reiterate to himself again, that that door was closed for good.

"Yeah, so did you get a chance to talk to her yet?" Shaw pressed on.

"About what?" Sam asked. He kind of meant it too. Heck, wasn't everything that needed to be said, communicated the minute she took off on Project Dakota without so much as a word? No amount of stolen looks or yearning was going to change that now.

"You, Marlo… you think it would be good to clear the air," Oliver continued.

"McNally made her choice. She left, nothing else to talk about. See, the air is totally clear," Sam replied not really sure who he was trying to convince the most. He knew that he sure as hell didn't owe her an explanation about his choice to move on after she left him.

"It's going to be another clear day," he concluded with a brazen smile, that he knew irked Shaw as he entered the precinct.

Clear! That was one of his key words these days. _Clear, clean, sterile, uncomplicated_ He needed to make everything simple and black and white, with no room for grey. Just like his new and simplified life and relationship. The one that wasn't with Andy. Christ!

_ANDY _

To her credit, Taci looked a little guilty and remorseful when she challenged her about "Sam's new girlfriend."

"Let's just get it over with okay. What is she like?" Andy blurted out, still breathless from her run, but more so from the mere agitation of needing to have this conversation at all.

She didn't know what she expected to return to, but it sure as hell _wasn'_t this.

"Oh, nine years on the squad, five years on swat," Traci replied continuing with her stretching. "I mean she seems pretty solid to me,"

'God Traci just _answer _the question,' Andy said to herself.

"Bad dresser, can't tell a joke, you know runs funny, something" Andy pulled desperately at anything to draw some criticism of the new woman in Sam's life.

Traci continued with her stretching routine before her eyes darted sideways distracted by something.

"Actually, she runs just fine," she said, her tone implying trouble.

Andy turned to look in the direction of Traci's gaze. Shit this couldn't be happening! She, _Sam's new girlfriend_, couldn't be running towards them. Not now, cool as a cucumber and fresh as daisy.

Andy knew lots of cops ran in this park before shift, but it was still completely uncanny, and just the slightest bit cruel, that they should run slap bang into _this_ one right now.

Talk about awkward for everyone. Marlo slowed to greet them, removing her ear phones as she did so_, _a ready smile on her face.

"Hey, morning Nash," she said calmly.

Then she turned and looked right at Andy with such slick confidence. Goddamn.

"McNally right,"

"Yeah," Andy nodded with a phony enthusiasm and structured smile that hurt her face.

"Pleasure to meet you, Marlo Cruz. We didn't get a chance to meet last week," she said reaching out to shake hands.

Andy got a good look at her. She could pretend otherwise but the woman _was_ attractive. She didn't look sweaty or uncomfortable at all. She seemed relaxed, calm… content. Did that disposition come to her naturally, or did it have something to do with Sam?

'_Oh God, tell me Sam didn't put that glow on her face this morning_,' Andy scorned inside her head.

"Yeah real pleasure," Andy swallowed hard as she lied to Marlo. Meeting her was far from a pleasure, it was more like a massive migraine actually.

"Heard a lot about you," Marlo said looking into her eyes quickly.

"Oh," Andy replied with a little quiver in her voice. It kind of made her excited. Maybe Sam couldn't stop talking about her then! Ha! Fat chance! It was more like chatter in the Barn as usual. Word carried like wildfire there of course.

Despite the pasted on smiles and silly pleasantries, the air was heavy with the bold, strong presence of the man between them. Her ex… Marlo's current. Crap! Andy seethed inside. Could this be more painful or uncomfortable?

"So.. uh gotta get another 10k in before shift. I'll see you guys there." She was so cool, so sure of herself. It sickened Andy that she carried herself with such ease.

"Have a nice run," she replied, managing to put on some strangely fake smile and chipper tone. What was that motto she used to go by, '_Fake it till you make it_.'

"Actually she runs kinda funny," Traci attempted to lighten the air as Marlo ran off.

Andy's smile was tense. Traci would receive no mercy for any of this!

"10k," she smirked. "We're doing another lap, _now_!"

_SAM_

Sam glanced over his shoulder to watch them. Did they know he was there? He felt all sparkly, twitchy and self-conscious in her presence again. Yup, he was right back to the uncomfortable stage with her. It was the way it was when all that sexual tension bubbled up between them when she was his rookie! God!

He couldn't see her face, but her hair was up as usual for shift and he knew she looked fresh-faced and beautiful.

Her playful chatter with Collins unnerved him. They seemed extremely relaxed and at ease with each other. Heck he knew they were joined at the hip for six months, but still.

They just seemed that little bit_ too_ familiar with one another. He didn't really have the stomach for it. He had never seen her_ this_ connected with Diaz and Epstein. What the hell did it mean?

They talked like the best of friends as though nothing could come between them. _Was _she flirting with Collins? His stomach churned just a little more. The first flickering of how he used to feel when he watched her with Callaghan began gnawing at him again.

Then, after some silly, meaningless conversation between the three of them, Collins was gone and he was alone with Andy. It was his first time alone with her in six months.

Shit he had said "_I love you_," to her just six months ago. Was it possible that those were among the last few words he uttered to her before she left? And now… now they were ensnared in this ridiculously awkward situation.

She didn't seem in a hurry to join Collins, he noted. Had she lingered just a little? Was she stalling to find some time with him? He remembered how she had stared at him with something mystical and wishful in her eyes when he had found her one week ago.

"So," she said cautiously, not looking at him.

"How are you?" he asked equally cautiously, head down, intent on not getting distracted by her.

"Good, good, really good," Andy replied. She also appeared just that bit on edge and unsure of herself. It surprised him. She usually gave him a full description of how she was feeling and what was going on. Replying with a few simple words… well that was pretty Marlo-like actually.

"You?" She was obviously trying to keep it casual.

"Me, yeah uh, I'm good."

"That's great," she replied obviously trying to find something to say to him.

It was obviously awkward; he could feel it to his bones. Then their bodies brushed right into each other. It happened twice as they tried to get out the door.

It was strange, but enjoyable. There was something strikingly familiar and superlatively enticing about having any part of her body pressed against him again. He forced himself to regroup and focus as she walked away.

It was in the past. Wasn't it? She had been noticeably flustered by the contact herself. She used to get that way with him… all agitated and flummoxed, way back when she was a real rookie and still dating Callaghan. It had mostly happened when he stared at her, put her on the spot or inadvertently touched her in some way!

That playful, teasing slap she had given Nick moments earlier irked him. Collins had looked at her just a little too intently too. But most of all it rankled him because it reminded him of a time she had done the same to him.

Back when they were together. Back when life was really good. Back when he was truly happy! Damn. He could remember that night so vividly now.

He had gone to her place to pick her up. They were going to a movie. It was some silly romantic drama that she had wanted to see. It wasn't anything he was remotely interested in.

Heck he could have saved them both the trouble and told her right off the bat that whatever love debacle occurred, the right guy _always_ got the girl. Yup that would happen, even if the right guy was the less conventional, practical or orthodox choice!

As usual Andy couldn't find her keys. He wasn't overly pressed to get going, so he stood there watching her in smug bemusement as she rummaged and scuffled to find them.

Back then he was used to this scenario. She never knew where she put her dratted keys. A wild search normally ensued, often leaving her place in a shambles.

It's not like she had her spare set of keys, those were still with Claire!

He waited leaning against the kitchen counter, arms crossed, feeling no particular urge to help her out this time.

That was mostly because he was completely enjoying the sight of her leaning over the sofa. From his angle he was getting a dangerously tantalizing view of her lacy bra and hints of the delicious cleavage spilling out.

Andy always looked great and in those sports bras she preferred wearing, but when wore those sexy, lacy numbers, she sure as hell did it right. And, he sure as hell wasn't complaining.

He knew she was vexed at him for just standing there. She scowled at him as she disappeared behind the sofa tossing the cushions off. Her movement denied him the view he had been enjoying. He made a yawning sound.

"Am I boring you?" She asked with a sharp grimace, popping her head back up. A moment later she tossed one of her accent pillows at him.

"Boring me? _You_ McNally, never," he chuckled in response as he caught the pillow and flung it back on the sofa.

"Keys. Pick a place to leave them. Find them." He teased dangling his keys in front of him before plopping them firmly down on the kitchen counter as if to prove a point.

She scowled at him again before grabbing for her backpack and rifling through it. He rolled his eyes. A second later she pulled her keys out with a teasing look of accomplishment.

"Keys. Look for them. Find them," she shrugged, dangling her keys as she approached him.

"Whatever works for you," he replied, holding his hands up in a show of surrender. He remembered thinking that he had never seen the shirt she was wearing before. It was turquoise and purple. It sparkled and clung to her in all the right places. It revealed a bit, but not too much.

"Like you never lose your keys," she giggled self-assuredly.

"Nope," he said.

"Yup Mr. Organized that's you." She continued, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She was standing right in front of him now.

"Uh yeah," he concurred, nodding.

She let out a sound of exasperation. "Pfft." She emitted and then she giggled playfully. "You're so cute when you're full of it," her voice was all silly and mushy as she made a funny face. It was a moment later that she teasingly reached out to gently slap his cheek.

That was the moment. The moment something subtle, sexy and magical passed between them. Before her hand dropped away, he had quickly grasped it, spontaneously bringing it to his lips to softly kiss her fingertips.

He had surprised even himself with the unexpected gesture, and he could still see the expression of sweet unexpected thrill in her eyes as he held her hand to his lips.

She had flashed him one of her most radiant smiles too.

"Wanna skip the movie?" he had whispered while looking deeply into her eyes.

She giggled, and brought her face inches closer to his. He leaned in to kiss her lips, but she moved away suddenly with another quick giggle. She did that sometimes, she was bewitchingly unpredictable.

"Nope." She taunted as she grabbed his keys from the kitchen counter and dashed for the door. "Oh and I'm driving," she laughed as she walked out, leaving the door open for him to close.

He couldn't remember the whole movie, but he vividly recalled three other essential elements to that night.

Firstly: He had held her hand and stroked the soft skin of her palm, while she watched the movie, and, through the corner of his eye, watched mainly her.

Secondly: As they left the theatre he had teased her about hitting it on the nose. Yup the right guy… the good guy… perhaps the underdog… whatever… he always got the girl. Sam recalled her giggle as he dropped his arm around her and traced invisible shapes on her shoulder. God he could still feel the warmth of her body through the fabric.

Thirdly: Later that night back at her place, she had clung to him with a thrilling intensity. There had been such searing brilliant sparks between them, so reminiscent of their first night together. It had been beautiful and crazy. He had carried her to the bed, as her hands roamed hungrily over him, an exotic and glimmering tint of excitement in her eyes.

God, it was agonizing. She had kept opening doors for him to go through… and each time she did, he had somehow created another closed one. Dammit. But, there really_ had _been good times, fun times, the happiest of times.

He could deny it all he wanted, but even with the complications, challenges and all, it had been _so_ good with her.

But the doors between them were bolted closed now. Nothing would unhinge them again… nothing… or maybe… just maybe…something would!


End file.
